Wearisome Life

I got my own domain, I’m sick of not having one.

http://www.noir-revolution.net

It is not exactly up yet.

New blog: http://www.noir-revolution.net/blog

End

Should I or should I not post a funny story? Not that many people read this, and even if they do, its offensiveness won’t actually be transmitted. It’s on another computer though, and I am dreadfully tired right now. Going on your computer for more than 8 hours is bad for the eyes…eh >__<.

Blind.

I get in these trances or zones where if I do one thing, I pursue it until I can’t do it anymore but then simultaneously I can’t do anything else. These past three days I’ve been coding some old .psd files (not cut, just edit images) that I had on my comp from last year. I haven’t done any new images because I’m really…just a bit laggy about it. This is just not the year for me visually.

I need some 3D renderings for texture, but I don’t have Studio Max 3D or whatever the fuck people use now. I’m a bit behind on things, but I do know Photoshop has a new version either already out or not out yet.

Please visit “Somewhere you’ll never find me”.

Anyway, I can’t blend images now because I want to write stuff…it’s on the back of my mind. Like, I could do something else but it just doesn’t seem spiffy enough. Too bad deskmod.com is down as well as squaregallery.com.

Well I found a replacement site for textures and backgrounds. Quite annoying when my lap. got formatted and I lost a lot of the shit…that’s not around anymore. I had like at least 5 artbooks on it. Oh well. I am going to write a short story about Death because, for some reason, I had these starter lines going around like “The stankness, as Death, in Death we trust” and so forth. It’s depressing searching for things on engines because shit results always come up like “Free hot sexy girls bondage cum shot” and shit like that. Hell, I just want deskmod.com back!!!!

Forced to find ugly sites with advertising >__<…why must you torture me!!!

Ok enough exclamation marks. Woa, I got the name wrong, it’s actually 3DSmax…well excuse me. I think AutoCAD costs $4000 dollars. If anyone thought Photoshop was expensive, it’s actually cheap compared to insane 3D rendering/other rendering programs. Ones that I can’t afford, and if I could, wouldn’t because I’m not really in the professional designing industry obviously…if I were, which I can’t, I would totally get stuff instead of buying collective textbooks for $900 and so on.

I think I have arthritis.

I think blog traffic is an avid issue, it’s something wanted by most bloggers but generally not bestowed to the general except some few who either: 1. whore themselves 2. are actual intelligent writers and thinkers 3. have a lot of really exciting angst or drama (soap-operay), or 4. just get themselves linked on 5458098232 blogs and thus become quite popular.

Let’s explore each category.

1. This one is where partying girls talk about whom they had sex or whatever with, who cheated on whom, and fights and so forth. Usually accompagnied by skanky pictures of their friends and them posing on at least five different pictures.

2. Can be in politcs or philosophical categories, people who sort of half write essays on their blog posts about whatever. Actually well-written and interesting, and worth a visit.

3. Sometimes young or mid-teenagers who write about how much they hate their mom/dad/grandma, boyfriend issues, school issues, eating disorders, and so on. They dramatize it so that it seems like a too thickly plotted action movie.

4. Comment on every single person’s blog on their community, and eventually get in return, a large volume of visitors.

Some people abuse their power and are true assholes. I use asshole collectively for girl or boy. I usually take rejection on my writing or design materials pretty well, and constructive criticism. But when I know I’m good at image editing, and that I’ve spent five+ hours on something, it’s not total shit. It doesn’t have to be great, but it isn’t total shit. Granted, I’m not the best at anything, but to be called “boring”. That’s just fucking subjective, hell I thought The Grapes of Wrath was the best book I’ve read in a long time then, and most people I know think it’s boring.

22 some designs were submitted, and only 4 were accepted. Ones with coding errors, and no image credits are fair to be rejected but “boring”? Either someone’s jealous, or abusing their power. She’s no great designer herself, I’ve seen better images, and better design ideas…she shouldn’t be so picky, and maybe give people chances who aren’t that advanced in making designs but what some exposure. That’s how Snow really helped me out, I didn’t have a lot of confidence at first, so I wasn’t sure if my stuff would be accepted, but Snow’s wonderful and she accepts most people’s designs…giving them a chance. She’s a very busy person though, so she added some new crew to be design processors, and now some or a few of them are really picky.

There’s fine line between assholery and pickiness. If I were admin., I’d definitely accept some designs that I didn’t like. People have different tastes, and what I don’t like doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. As long as it looks properly aligned and coded, I can’t just say “I hate the colour yellow, so your design is rejected”. That’s just total B.S., and “boring” is subjective. You can say why it’s boring, just because there’s no fancy shit everywhere, doesn’t mean it’s boring. Seriously, which WP/Blogger/etc themes have huge ass anime characters? I already have to put up with making huge ass anime character layouts, some of which I don’t mind, but just because it doesn’t have Good Charlotte with 3D spikes, or what the fuck, Jennifer Garner with 545454543 million brushes doesn’t mean it’s boring.

It’s called professionalism.

Asshole.

Well not really, but a special kind of poetry. Well not really, but just yeah…

The androgynous cycles of breathing

Morn:
Ghostly sounds chug on in the far distance
The pale hue of the bathrobe seems like a terminal breath -
Exhaled from the hovering mist
Fog protects the mirror,
reflects an uncanny image - broken lines and smudged surfaces

Noon:
Shadows inside shadows clamour around the street
Impressive crowd on a lonely day
No cloudy breaths puffed save te swell and decay in the sky
Dotted snow seem like ashes
Buildings, the sketch on a blank paper

Dusk:
Carousel, a mall is like
The sounds swirl round and round
Glassy sheen and fancy gloss
Elaminate each door and floor
Pink flamingos and tufts of grass,
beside each other on racks display
Escalators like giant chains slither up,
slither down

Night:
The brave street lamp winks through the blinds
Company for lost orbs in the dark
Trees shiver, a scant few foot-steps trudge by
At home, enclosed as if in a tomb
We precariously lie

I have an anxiety problem. I called a friend earlier today around dinnertime (her time), and she picked up but my phone is fux0r3d so she couldn’t hear what I was saying. I haven’t talked to her in almost a month, only right before she went on vacation. I thought she’d get back earlier since her school starts pretty soon but I haven’t heard from her. She’s okay though, since she picked up her cell. I guess she’s busy or something? I’ve called her a few times tonight but she’s not picking up her cell. That’s kind of weird…O__O?

I’ve beaten Malificent, I don’t think I’m spelling it right but eh who cares. Sort of hardcore bashing fest though, not really subtle. I can just imagine some people saying in a faux posh British accent “Oh, I used the R-AH-G-NO-RAHK sleight, with Mega FL-AIR a few times. Then I used Curaga sparingly while making sure I had at least 2 0 cards to break her attacks.”
Strategy my ass, like my cuz and I did in Diablo, BASH.

I just can’t beat her, I’m at level 41 I think with Sora…I’m not fast enough. Sometimes the card system is just so really retarded and annoying. And Donald and Goofy are pretty much useless. They should have given better summons, not DUMBO (wtf?)….it’d be cool to summon like Terra or Celes, even though Terra is way cooler and Celes sucks. Yeah, now I want to play FF6…but not as much as 7.

Just had to write something extra, and it’s hard to be frank with so many potential open eyes, and although open eyes may have closed minds, closed minds are still minds. I mean, slowing down a bit…there are a great number of people (redundant I know), and some of them (if not all) have interesting things to say.

They have a great many thoughts, some old, and a few of them refreshingly new. The proportion favours old thoughts perhaps. As many of my own, have been repeatedly written before by other authors…maybe it’s like an internal wiring or schematic that sometimes, oddly, a few interconnected thoughts (like a web, or network of neurons) are always the same among a number of people, and other kinds of thoughts are numerous among other people. That is not to say that people are so vastly different, but their childhood, environment, and personality affects the outcome of certain similar thoughts.

Ok sleep.